reviewsbyerin

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk

A friend recommended this book to me last year and I knew immediately that it was one I needed to read. Communication is an area in which I am always striving to improve. It's not a secret, and in fact has been acknowledged openly, that my family is bad at communication. I knew from a young age that this made life harder than it had to be, and I wanted to reverse this trend and make a change going forward. With God's help I feel I've done a pretty good job, but there is always room to grow.

"How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" is a practical guide to promoting healthy communication specifically between parents and their children. As a teacher I also felt there was much I could take away for use in the classroom. In the "What's It All About, Anyway?" section, here are some of the authors' purposes in writing this book:

"We want to find a way to be more sensitive to one another's feelings.

"We want to find a way to express our irritation or anger without doing damage.
"We want to find a way to be respectful of our children's needs and to be just as respectful of our own needs.
"We want to find a way that makes it possible for our children to be caring and responsible.
"We want to break the cycle of unhelpful talk that has been handed down from generation to generation, and pass a different legacy to our children..."

One thing that I loved about this book was that it made sense. These methods of communication promote nurture and respect in relationships. It makes each member of the family part of a problem-solving team, working together with consideration for the good of all. Everything that I know from a lifetime of working with children, whether as a big sister or teacher, confirms in my heart that these methods will work, and have worked as I have been attempting to implement them in my life.

There are six specific areas that the authors address: helping children deal with their feelings, engaging cooperation, how to approach punishment, encouraging autonomy, praising children, and freeing them from playing roles. Each chapter seeks to equip parents with many tools which may be used in different situations and with different personalities of child.

Really the only thing I did not like about this book was that it was not written from a Christian perspective, and therefore leaves out the best child-raising wisdom of all. But I saw nothing in these pages that would not be compatible for using alongside Biblical principles for raising children in a healthy, God-honoring way. In truth, I believe that the Bible presented with good communication will only make it have more of a lasting impact in the lives of the precious children around us. I highly recommend this title to parents and teachers everywhere.